Praha, Pivo, Prosim

Ok well, there have been a few interesting/fun events over the past few weeks so I’m here to share them with you.

Scavenger Hunt

Well, I’m not sure how technically correct the scavenger hunt title is but alas, that’s the name we used at the time. Essentially, it was just a fun way to get out and about on a Saturday afternoon and a reason to make multiple stops for pivo.
A few items from our lists to see/do/photograph included: a gun, a baby with a big head, a cowboy hat, a sombrero, someone holding two sausages, a cat, a mullet, bright hair, a Segway, a horse, etc.

An Impromptu Trip to a Castle

The Czech Republic has a plethora of castles everywhere. It’s pretty awesome to be able to see a castle for a day trip. Last Sunday, I visited Krivoklat. Its’ a short 60-75 minute train ride from town. Domestic train travel is really quite inexpensive and easy to navigate so off I went. The weather was quite cold & gray but it’s a castle so that makes it doable in my book.

I took the train from Hlavni Nadrazi (main station) to Beroun and transferred to a teeny funky looking train to reach Krivoklat. As is typical for most castles, Krivoklat is on a hill therefore when approaching it looks pretty awesome. The town (well, village really) is incredibly small–we’re talking population 40 or something. No, that’s an official Czech census statistic, I’m just sayin’….

There’s a short footpath from the train station to the ‘town’ and then visitors must walk up a respectable hill to reach the castle. Once at the castle there’s a main courtyard and at one end of the courtyard are a couple of Robin Hood looking dudes. There’s a table set up and they are shooting various forms of bows & arrows at targets and of course, any man, boy or child is attracted to such activity.

In no particular order I completed the following tasks: ate lunch, had a beer, walked up another hill, was a tourist, took scenic pictures, and peeked in the dungeon.

At this point I’ll mention that on the train to and from Krivoklat I was about the only person on any of the trains who did NOT have children or all the necessary child accoutrements. These people & their prams were freaking everywhere. Child overload.

Cesky Krumlov

Everyone I know has been telling me how lovely & adorable Cesky Krumlov is and how it’s a must see when in the C.R. They were right.

I hopped a train (again, cheap domestic travel–yay! 383Kc roundtrip = about 20$) on Friday afternoon headed towards Ceske Budejovice. From CB, I got on a bus to CK.

Cesky Krumlov is a really small town with a small permanent population. The summer is the peak time and from what I’ve been told many shops/places close up for the winter.

The Vltava (same river that runs through Prague) winds in and around CK thus making it even fucking cuter than it would be if it was riverless. The river makes big swooping loops and there’s a big castle that sits on a rocky hill above. I think it’s one of those places where it’s difficult to take a bad picture. There is a main square in the center with many little streets (with shops, restaurants & cafes) that surround the main square.

I arrived at about 5:30 so I found my pension which was, as the website indicated, at the ‘castle steps’. I could see the base of the tower from my window as the building is practically next door. Great location & a reasonable price. I did well!

Food….what to eat for dinner? Sorry, I just looked for a web link to the restaurant I chose and cannot find one. Booooo. A table of young & rowdy guys were next to me speaking some European tongue I’d never heard before. They were loud & obnoxious therefore, not Czech. They kept ordering tons of beer & Becherovka and I think generally being rude to the poor waiter. The waiter already had on a somewhat silly outfit so I’m sure he wasn’t pleased about their behavior. The restaurant is some kind of medieval-themed place with meat spinning around on sticks over an open fire.

I ordered an appetizer of pork ‘flitch’ and various cheeses. And yes, I ordered it because I had no idea what flitch is, was or could be. My main course was a wood-fire-grilled pork chop. A pork chop wouldn’t usually be my first choice but the Czechs go fucking apeshit for their pork so when in Rome…. Both items arrived at the same time which frankly, I really had no problem with…. I wasn’t expecting to finish everything but I was most curious about this pork flitch mystery. For those who aren’t in the know (as I am now) pork flitch is simply a cured & salted side of bacon. This particular item arrived slices with 3 kinds of cheese (I think Hermelin, something similar to Mozzarella and a mysterious third–probably Eidam). There was no way I was going to eat all that damned pork and cheese WITH my pork main meal. I’m ashamed (or is it a little proud) of what I did next…. this is a total old lady/ghetto thing to do…. I wrapped some pork, cheese and bread in napkins so that I could eat it for breakfast. Pathetic, right?

I walked around some more and went to my teeny tiny room around 9:30. On a sad note I was rather excited that not only did the room have a television but also satellite! Most of the channels were Austrian but I was able to view some programming from the following: MTV Austria, Al-Jazeera, Algeria, Morocco, France, Russia, Germany & even a religious Polish channel. Oh how I miss my DVR and cable!

So Saturday morning arrived and I promptly unwrapped my old lady pork & cheese breakfast. Lame, I know. But here I speak the truth!

The obligatory walk around the castle with requisite photo ops was in order. Additionally, a few stupid self-portraits were on the itinerary. Normally I’m not a fan of looking at photos of myself therefore taking photos of myself is even further down the list. I was feeling frisky yesterday so done and done!

Beer is king in the Czech Republic so the Eggenberg Brewery was next on the agenda. There is a basic tour (with no beer) for 100Kc or for 130Kc you can get the tour plus 2x.5L of the brew. All in all, a good deal! There’s even another tour package that includes as much as you can drink! Yet another reason why I love this country. No way in hell any American brewery would make such an offer. LAWSUIT! COMPENSATION! INJURY! DEATH! Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! I met a few cool people on the tour too; it was a nice break from the monotony of silence! Nevertheless I chose the unfiltered beer and the dark beer. Thumbs up!

Eggenberg is mainly a regional beer that a bit difficult to find in Prague. The tour guide said they do however export to Italy, Russia & I think Finland. Interesting, eh? I had a special Christmas beer that was recommended by a beer-drinking pal and he didn’t steer me wrong; it was tasty and really reasonably priced! So yes, an enjoyable venture.

Other recent stuff: Witches Day & May Day!

Witches day is April 30th…. I really don’t know the details so here are some for you. h Basically, it’s yet another reason to drink. And we did. The evening was spent at Zlute Lazne (also known as ‘the beach’). It’s an outdoor area next to the Vltava that offers sand volleyball, swimming, food, beer, and lots of other stuff. The lines were insanely long and we kept trying to find maybe some ‘secret’ areas or service lines that were shorter. We were not successful. When you stand in line for 45 minutes you tend to buy a lot of beer which makes for an interesting ‘carry’ to your area.

May Day is May 1st…. It’s also a public holiday. Unfortunately, this year it was on a Saturday. May Day is the Czech ‘Labor Day’ as well as some kind of day for lovers & romance. LIke the previous day, we decided that this is another reason to drink. ODS (one of the big political parties) offers some kind of celebration/rally/whatever at Petrin Hill on this day. As part of their ‘subsidized’ festivities one can purchase food and drink for ridiculously cheap prices. Klobasa = 10Kc and also beer was 10Kc. Yes, 10Kc. That’s bout .50 cents. And don’t forget these are half liter beers. Therefore, one usually purchases as much as he/she can carry. I love Ceska Republika!! Aside from the working aspect of the holiday, the romantic thing is actually rather cute. You must kiss your lover (or anyone I suppose) under a blooming cherry tree otherwise you’ll be ‘dry’ for the year. We never did get clarification in exactly what way this translates but use your imagination. I’ll leave you with a quote from Raising Arizona, ‘Her womb was a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.’

A picture of sandwiches. Big deal, right? Most of the time I’d agree with you and admit to the ‘uninterestingly high level of blah’ there. However, allow me to explain.

Thursday 10 December

There’s a bit of a set-up first. Since I’m so awesome and have three jobs at the moment, I wanted to prepare a nice edible treat for the holiday party. No, actually contributing food or drink for this party was not a requirement but I was feeling generous this week and I had a plan. I wanted to make chocolate chip cookies. Wow, big deal–snoozefest. Not exactly.

You see, although Czechs go apeshit for their chocolates and sweets (as is evident by the size of said departments in the supermarket), they do not have chocolate chips. And to expand that idea, they do not have chocolate chip cookies. While they can be purchased (Marks & Spencer has them but M&S is a British chain), it’s a largely unfamiliar sweet treat for the locals. As all my dedicated American readers know, chocolate chip cookies are just fucking delicious. Czechs seem to be really interested in our culture (and food as one friend asked me what we eat last week and I forwarded a big list of typically ‘American’ food items). I thought chocolate chip cookies would be a great foray into the American food genre. Plus, free food (laced with butter, sugar and chocolate) is a good way to win people over and get them to talk to you.

Expats.cz is a great resource for all of us living abroad. The site is really a compendium of all things necessary and not-so-necessary for surviving here. It ranges from flat shares, restaurant reviews, movie listings and holiday guides and local events. The forum on expats.cz is also a great place for really specific and random questions you just can’t find the answer to otherwise. It was there I posted about where to locate chocolate chips in this town. I was given three options but of the three I chose Robertson’s. Robertson’s is an importer of British products–food products. There are two shops in town so I hopped the 8 tram to Dejvicka and began my search.

Robertson’s is a small-ish shop but I wasn’t necessarily expecting a huge high-ceilinged warehouse filled with scones and crumpets. I asked the woman behind the counter if she had the chocolate chips and she quickly plopped down two bags. Nice work! Robertson’s also has other goodies unavailable elsewhere in Prague: Dr. Pepper, root beer, Duncan Hines boxed mixes and lastly CHEDDAR CHEESE. Cheddar cheese is pretty much non-existant here. It’s mostly Eidam. And when I say mostly I mean to say about 90% Eidam. When shops have other cheese options, it’s not cheddar. It’s a mild light yellow cheese that is delicious in it’s own right. I’m not here to knock the cheese; the cheese didn’t do anything to me. But again, like the chocolate chip issue, we Americans love our cheddar cheese. We do. The bright orange refrigerated wheel was staring at me from behind the glass case. I had already paid for my purchases but I wanted some fucking cheese.Therefore, I bought 100g of the stuff. Ok yes, that’s metric. I know. It’s nearly impossible to make the mental conversion so here’s a gauge on how little 100g really is…… 1000g = kilo = 2.2lbs. I knew 100g wasn’t going to be much (nor would it last very long) but I needed a fix, bad. If I could mainline the stuff, I would. Yum.

So, continuing on the food train… another item that we Americans really love is peanut butter. While peanut butter is available here it’s some random Euro brand and a small (6oz-ish) container sells for about 80-85Kc (USD 4.50 or so). I’d venture to say that unless there’s an allergy, most American homes have some PB somewhere in the cabinets. We love it that much.

On the way home from Robertson’s I knew what I was going to do. I was going to buy some slice white bread. Yes, I said WHITE BREAD. Sorry, I know all the mutli-grain stuff is better for you but white bread is WHITE FUCKING BREAD. When I got home I was going to slap a shitload of cheddar on buttered white bread and make a grilled cheese sandwich. AND, because I was feeling frisky, I would make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, too. Yes, I know–the rebellion is jumping off the page here.

Friday 11 December

The cookies were a hit with my Czech colleagues and fellow teachers and they were gone in a hurry. I buy my friends with sugar and sweets. That’s how I roll. But perhaps I’ll make some more for the office staff to keep myself in their good graces and maybe get myself some more work out of the deal…..

Saturday 12 December

The Christmas markets are here. They’re pretty fantastic. The Christmas markets are an annual tradition in Prague. They really do give a nice Christmas-y feeling with their red roofed huts and smells of roasted chestnuts and spiced wine floating in the air. Old Town Square (a 5-7 minute walk from my flat) has the biggest markets as well as the busiest. Other markets are all over town; they’d actually be quite difficult to miss if you were strolling the streets.

The markets in OTS have a huge Christmas tree that is lit-up to the 9’s. It’s beautiful. I don’t wax nostalgic or poetic often but this a beautiful giant tree from the Krkonose mountains. The lights on the tree are everywhere and it blinks and sparkles for all to see.

Other Christmas Market pretty stuff.

Food at the markets:

(Various markets pop-up several times through the year and some food/drink is a staple while other items are seasonal.)

Trdelnik…. I have yet to experience these but they look smell delicious. First some kind of dough is made. It is then rolled over a steel/iron pipe and turned over hot coals. The cooked dough is then rolled in cinnamon and sugar (and I think nuts).

Langose... Another dough-based item. I haven’t had these either but I have it on good authority that they are delicious. It’s a circular baked crusty-looking thing on which you can choose your toppings. The most popular seems to be cheese with ketchup (yes, I said ketchup). There are also sweet options as well but the savory is the preferred.

Roasted chestnuts… Yes, we have the famous Christmas song but do you know anyone that has ever had a roasted chestnut? Yeah, me neither. This is certainly a seasonal item and I had to try some. The stands are all over and a bag of about 6-8 chestnuts sells for 50Kc. The chestnuts are roasted in the shells but the moisture of the roasting softens them so removing the contents is quite easy. The taste? It’s ok. I thought they should be sweeter or saltier. By no means gross or nasty–just rather bland. The chestnut ‘meat’ was about the texture of a slightly firm potato and the color was similar as well.

Medovina.... is delicious!!!! This is a honey-based alcoholic drink. It’s diluted with water and either served hot or cold. The markets sell the hot version and I will confirm it’s awesomeness.

Hot spiced wine…. (svarak) served red or white it tastes as you would probably expect. It’s quite delicious. Imagine the flavors of clove, cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, etc. all swimming around a steaming portion of wine. Nice.

Grog… Rum with hot water. It tastes like rum with hot water. I didn’t notice any additional flavorings added to the serving I had so I can’t give a wordy (and bullshit) flavor profile as if I was drinking a 1964 Chateau Lafite.

Miscellaneous stuff in my brain today….

Architecture–Panelaks… remnants of a Communist past. Panelaks are classic Socialist architecture in every way. They are huge buildings of flats that still pockmark the cities here. There seem to be areas of town that have more than others. Czechs generally dislike panelaks not only for the past that they represent but also because they are ugly. Since I live in the center of town, I live in a ‘regular’ building so I cannot confirm the crappyness that is a panelak. But, I know some people that have lived in panelaks as well as inhabit them presently. They are not spoken about favorably. Here are some examples…

Dinner–Chicken was on sale yesterday. I bought some. With minimal ingredients I made a marinade of olive oil, orange zest, fresh-squeezed orange juice, brown sugar, salt, pepper, cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg…. Said chicken was marinated and roasted with an onion. A cheap meal!

Work–I have two weeks of holiday time coming up and my flatmates will both be out of the country. Bethany is going to the UK and Olga will be in Romania. It’s times like this that I wish there was a common room in this flat; I would so have a party. I am planning a ‘roll your own’ sushi night with some friends so we’ll see. I suggested heavily boozing it up and hitting the Christmas markets, too. Does someone want to contribute a big bottle of Becherovka for the occasion? I’ll thank you later.

I love how much awesome stuff there is in a big city. And it’s even better when this big city is in Europe and you live there. Bonus.

The street I live on is a sidestreet. Although it’s a sidestreet, there are still plenty of drunk revelers and ‘action’ to keep things interesting. On the back side of the building is my grocery store (but this one sucks) as well as the metro, a tram stop and a big mall. It pays to live near convenience. Anyway, on my little sidestreet there are a few restaurants and bars as well as a hostel and a police station. But additionally, there is a cute little cheese shop (that I think specializes in Dutch cheese). The door to this place is about 20 feet from the front of my building so it’s beyond convenient. Although the shop is small, they do have a decent selection of cheese that I’ve never heard of as well as various klobasas and meats. There are also two tables which I’m fairly certain are for drinking wine & eating cheese. What a wonderful idea!

So, in this country many businesses are either closed on the weekend (including Saturday) or they close at noon on Saturday. Therefore, if you are requiring anything from a smaller shop, you best be hauling your ass out of bed on Saturday. I went to the cheese shop at 10:30 this morning and I bought two kinds of cheese. I don’t have an itemized receipt but I think one is Farm Cheddar (brand name? not sure–thus the capitalization). It has a black rind and the cheese itself is rather pale yellow. It’s certainly not the bright orange cheddar Americans are used to seeing. Cheddar is nearly non-existant here so that’s why I bought 100g of the stuff. Cheese #2–I cannot possibly remember the name because 1) it was in Czech and 2) I had never heard of the stuff before. Maybe I’ll be nice and take photos for you.

Voila!

Today is a day of cooking–here’s the menu

Herbed baguette with cheese–not original but hey, it’s a good start

Roast chicken–made with a compound butter of: rosemary, fresh lemon juice, salt, pepper, oregano, marjoram, basil, garlic– also stuffed with lemon, onion, apple & garlic

Roast vegetables–organic carrots & potatoes with onions–made with olive oil, salt, pepper, rosemary, oregano, basil, marjoram

Steamed broccoli—snooze, I know but my guest likes broccoli. See, I’m a good hostess!

Vanilla nutmeg pudding–layered with an organic blueberry reduction made with lemon zest, honey and apple liquor –topped with an almond/brown sugar/cinnamon crisp

Midnight–food gone, two bottles of wine gone. Done. Time for bed.

The Christmas markets opened yesterday. Reason #410 why Prague is awesome. There is a gigantic tree in Old Town Square. It’s beautiful. Enjoy.

I know, I know, you might all be surprised to hear that I’m at home on a Saturday night. And I don’t even have any beer to keep me company. A serious consideration is hot tea at the moment. Yes, I am living the dream!

NEWS and EVENTS

The biggest news is that my birthday is on Tuesday and I bought an off-camera flash for my DSLR today. I’d rather focus on the latter part of the last sentence as it’s more exciting than the getting older part. But alas, I’ll address both…

The flash–it’s an off brand therefore it is less than the pricier Nikon variety. I wish I could drop some serious cash on super quality equipment but funds are tight and I can’t go spending frivolously; as much as I’d like to do the aforementioned, I have to be aware of how much I have and where it is going. Budgets suck. Boo. Thumbs down budgets! Either way, I’ll be fooling around with this new toy tomorrow so I’ll post some photos in the future. Oh, and to answer anyone that might ask–why is it necessary to buy this kind of flash when most cameras have a built-in flash? Well, that’s a simple one. On camera flashes make people look like fucking shit. Horrible. Skin tones are horrible and complexions look like hell. An extra flash option adds for the possibility of angled lighting or diffused lighting thus making human subjects look human and less like pasty beasts.

The birthday. Ah, yes. Getting older. Those of you that know me, know my age so we’ll leave it at that. However, I will say that I certainly don’t ‘feel’ my age nor do I necessarily ‘act’ my age, either. The number attached to an age is kind of arbitrary but it’s that pesky reminder of just how long we’ve been trotting the globe and making memories.

Important history lesson…. Nov. 17, 1989: The Velvet Revolution, Czech Republic. The end of Communism. As the 20th anniversary of this historical event approaches, the city is preparing many activities and celebrations to commemorate such a momentous time in this country’s history. A Czech friend (and student) told me an interesting story last night. We were out drinking wine under the Charles Bridge at a cute little bistro and she said that her university was located near Vaclavske Namesti (Wenceslas Square). Vaclavske was where much of the Velvet Revolution action happened. For fourteen days she and her fellow students were locked in their rooms. They could hear shooting and shouting but had no idea what was going on. The Berlin Wall had fallen earlier that month and now the time had come to Czechoslovakia. It was their turn.

I now know a substantial amount of locals and/or those raised behind the Iron Curtain and it’s really fascinating to hear stories about the Communist Era. Although, they certainly don’t see it as such because they were living it, there are so many little things about ‘western’ life that I have taken for granted. Things that I would never even think about were unavailable or unknown here during that time. For example….. I was talking to another Czech friend and colleague about how my sister (thanks, V!) would give me green olives but she would SAY they were green cherries. Like a fool, I believed her and ate them only to spit them out. My Czech friend then told me that the first time she had olives was when she was 15 and in Greece because olives were just not available here at that time. She also told me how everyone wore the same shoes. And how the queues (lines) for fruits were extremely long. And how they ate Cuban oranges which are more yellow than orange. Hmm, interesting–importing the other Communist oranges. How apropo.

I’M IN THE MOVIES, BEYOTCH!

I’m hopefully getting a copy of my world premiere film tomorrow. No, no, not porn. Nobody would want to see that. Don’t worry, I’m not going to go all Carrie Prejean and tell Larry King he’s being ‘inappropriate’ when he asks me about it. (And as an aside…and I apologize I’m about to use this word but…. Wow, she’s quite the entitled cunt, isn’t she?) But anyway, I should be meeting Libor and Petra so they can give me a few copies of the documentary. I think there should be an official screening with a red carpet, popcorn and media. Who can I call? I wonder if Povich and Chung are available for press?

FOOD

Here’s something anyone out there could possibly help me out with… The backstory: Ok, a Czech friend (the first one mentioned above) grew up in a small village. She goes to visit her parents frequently. But, because this village is so small, many people grow crops and raise animals so as to provide for themselves. I had known that her parents have chickens and that she often brings free range eggs back to Prague. But, I did not know that there are also rabbits, goats and even friggin’ beehives. Yes, beehives! I want to get my hands on some real organic honey. Being the food geek I am, I was very excited by all this bounty she was telling me about. So, I made her a deal. If she can bring me some organic goodies, I offered to cook. It’s a good trade, really. I get to play with high quality organic food and cook and she gets some free English. The challenge: So, here’s what I’m thinking….. if she brings some awesome eggs, I would like to make a souffle. For anyone that has never had a souffle, trust me when I say they are delicious. And if you love eggs, go find a restaurant that serves them now! Souffles are just big fluffy, eggy goodness. I think cheese souffles are the most ‘go-to’ but there are various savory options as well as sweet. If anyone out there has souffle experience, I’d like to hear about it. What did you make? How did it turn out? Tips? I’m always down for making new recipes so getting feedback would be most helpful.

I had to go there with the lame title. It’s Halloween!

It’s been a productive day thus far. Many people like to be lazy on Saturdays. I like to get shit done. That’s how I roll. Up at 730, two loads of laundry done by 9, shopping at the mall and the supermarket done by 1030. Cooked lunch and having a glass of wine by 130. Good times.

Whole roaster chickens were on sale (AKCE! One of my favorite Czech words) at Albert today so I had to buy one. Roasted chicken is one of my favorite foods and roast chicken skin? Sweet Mother of God–it’s my crack. I knew I wanted to make a chicken salad today so I threw some random things together. Here’s what I did…..

Mix olive oil, fresh lemon juice, salt, pepper, marjoram, rosemary & oregano in a bowl. Rub it all over the bird. Stuff the bird with a cut up onion and an apple. Cook your bird and baste periodically.

I like cucumber and tomatoes so I used those today. Chop to the desired size. I also had an extra onion left so I decided to use that. Since raw onion isn’t one of the greatest things to me, I sauteed it in some olive oil and salt. After the onion started to brown, I added a chopped clove of garlic and a splash of red wine.

Assemble the salad and dress with your favorite dressing. Since I’m an American living in Europe, I used Hidden Valley Ranch. Trust me, it’s a gold mine here as Ranch is unavailable. I have my Mom to thank for shipping me goodies.

Pour yourself a glass of wine and bon appetit!

Here are some random pictures for your viewing pleasure!

The above were taken at the Wine & Cheese Festival in Old Town Square. Ironically, we only saw one place that was selling a few spices and there was no wine to be found anywhere. Boo!

RelfBowl ‘09: Letna Park–Go Big or Go Home

Kutna Hora, Czech Republic

The Sedlec Ossuary–everyone knows about the bone church! Wikipedia says it’s made with 40-70k skeletons.

COMMIES

I don’t have a television. I don’t have a radio. Well ok, I do have these things but they are packed away in a storage unit that is 4k miles away. As such, I get all my information from this here lovely interwebs. So……

One class (that happens to be in what I’m convinced is a former Communist Doctor’s office) has a radio. Because the class isn’t in an office building that requires a special security pass, I usually arrive early and pre-board any necessary text for a lesson. Since I’m always early, I turn on the radio and get my fill of weekly Czech radio. Of course I cannot understand what the DJs say when they are speaking. I still listen. However, English language music (like all forms of popular culture) has infiltrated the radio waves. Peppered between Czech songs are the ones I can understand. There are of course songs I don’t know and this just isn’t because I’m tragically unhip. It’s the Euro tunage. A few months back I heard a song I liked. I’m a writer of lyrics. But this is not for some deep and soulful purpose; this is only for the task of locating a particular song to download later. Anyway, I came home and downloaded this song. Ha, it is a Romanian pop group. Nice.

Cut to this week….most recently (as in Tuesday of this week) I heard another song I liked. I presume my ear noticed it because the band sounds quite a lot like Depeche Mode*. Camouflage is a German synthpop band from the 80s. I admit it, I’m a sucker for shitty synthpop. Go ahead & rag on it, I deserve the ridicule. It’s just damn catchy music. If you like bad 80s synth, check out these lyrics.

Or here’s the video if you so choose. Does anyone else thing the band has a Matt Damon-faced singer? How does Jason Bourne have time to program his Moog when determining his own identity?

*As an aside…… I found out about this place while reading an article on something else this week. It’s in Estonian but it’s real. Yes, a DM-themed bar. I’m a DM fan but I won’t be making a special trip to Tallinn for this.

LUNCH

There’s a great vegetarian Indian place about 2 blocks from here. (Check the menu for Dhaba Tynska) I’m pretty far from vegetarian on the food scale but Indian food is so tasty that meat really isn’t necessary. This place is literally in the shadows of Tyn Cathedral and insanely cheap. It’s in a courtyard of a sidestreet and unless you knew it was there, you’d walk right by. I love those hidden little gems. Beas offers a rather small menu but the ‘big menu’ is a mere 100KC. Score!

I also tried my first Kombucha. Kombucha is fermented tea. I can confirm that it does not taste like tea but does indeed taste fermented. The taste is really quite odd and off-putting. To be more specific, it rather tastes like something rotting; like something you should have thrown away 2 days ago but were too lazy and hungover. Like many similar foods that taste funky and gross, Kombucha is supposed to have some curative and beneficial qualities thus the reason for ingesting the stuff. If you haven’t heard of Kombucha, it’s not a fancy Euro-fied beverage. I had heard of the stuff in the US and my friend John used to buy it. Just look around in any health food or organic store and they’ll probably have it in their inventory.

Prior to having the stuff though I do recall Tina Fey on Letterman talking about her recent addiction to the dubious beverage. Go to 4:15 to hear her talk about it. She’s pretty spot on in her assessment and commentary.

On the note of Tina Fey, oh how I miss 30 Rock. Too bad I can’t get Hulu over here. Season 3 episodes are damn hard to locate online. Sadness.

CHEESE

If I said pickled cheese, the reaction of any normal person would be one of the following: ick, eew, gross, fuck that, nasty, hell no, etc. However, contrary to these thoughts, pickled cheese is freaking delicious. Pickled Hermelin is a staple bar food here in the C.R.. I was hesitant to try it for the very reason any normal person would hesitate to try the stuff. But I can report with great glee that pickled hermelin is the bomb. It’s not pickled in the traditional sense of being pickled. I usually associate tart, tangy, sour and vinegary with pickled foods. The hermelin is packed in a jar with various herbs, spices and other goodies such as garlic, peppers, juniper berries, capers, black pepper, onion, and oil. Basically you just let the stuff sit and work it’s magic in a jar. That easy. When the stuff is ready, you smear it all over some hearty Czech bread (Sumava is suggested) and you have a wonderful treat. I loved the stuff so much that I went to Tesco and bought a big plastic jar of the stuff. By no means is a 60Kc purchase of cheese going to be the world’s finest but it will surely satisfy my new cheese obsession.

Voila!

WORK

Here’s an example of the boring stuff I was researching last week to do a lesson at Kaufland. It’s at their logistics center in the Czech countryside. The place is huge and cumbersome and you can see the facility from kilometers away. It’s kind of one of those, ‘Oh shit, what the hell IS that over there,’ moments.

You can imagine the riveting buckets of information one can locate about grocery stores and related vocabulary. It’s rather boring and uninteresting material to do for 90 minutes.

NEWS

While surfing around on links from Reddit (my new go-to source aggregator), I saw the words penis and laser so naturally I did a little tap of my track pad and off I went. But what struck me as more tragic and interesting than the actual article was the sidebar. Yes, those are all associated news blurbs related to penis trauma this week. So this makes me query, ‘Does some dude behind a monitor aggregate articles on genitalia?’ Interesting gig. Is this a WTF moment? Or perhaps even a FTW? You decide.

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What? Where’s Tom Cruise when you need him? How many level II Thetans approve of this message?

RANDOM PICS OF THE WEEK

Letna Park and an invader

Find the pivo!

Church at Strahov Monastery

Reminder: I live here

Just a quick blog so I can post a picture for Jayne. While on Skype tonight she requested I photograph the dinner I was making at the time. I did. Here it is.

Cheap Euro Shopper brand pasta + olive oil + milk & 2 kinds of cheese cheese to make a ghetto alfredo sauce + garlic + tomato + oregano & basil + salt/pepper + a wee spot of thyme & rosemary = dinner! I also added a scrambled egg to the mix. You can’t tell it’s there. And because I am my Mother’s daughter, I had to add extra garnish for the purposes of the photo. Note fancy Czech street backdrop.

When I opened the fridge I lost an egg. Sadness.

As I’ve mentioned, the weather has been crazy here (read shitty) lately but it cleared up nicely today so I took the camera & tripod to the nearest bridge (less than 400yards) and snapped away. This is what I got. Enjoy. Happy desktopping!

Here’s a deserted alley in the Jewish Quarter. Pretty cool, eh? I love that all this stuff is so close to where I sleep. Awesome. I just took these an hour ago.

Not much new this week in the thousand-year-old city. The city of 100 spires. The Mother of Cities. Ah yes, fucking Prague!

Work is getting ready to roll into the summer session and I only have 1 class that is ‘finished’ as of the end of the month. Apparently I’m one of the lucky ones! I’ll be working for The Language House starting next month. Doing what, you ask? Get this–I’ll be doing job assistance workshops. Nice, eh? Adding an additional employer and new experience is yet another bullet point on the old cirriculum vitae.

VISITORS!

No, these visitors aren’t from another planet. But they will be coming from a little place called The United States of America and they happen to be my parents. I will be on full tour guide patrol/duty for the next week as they are arriving tomorrow. The requisite ‘tidying up’ was completed yesterday. I am genetically predisposed to clean for visitors. I was a good child today and bought some delicious local beer and a bottle of Becherovka for when they check out the flat. Yes, I am fully prepared to imbibe!

Pretty pretty pretty…..

I snapped the following last Saturday night.

Ok, since Prague is known for the sex industry and attractive people, I thought I’d add my two cents.

Aside from the Brazilians who have a lock on the ‘hot babe’ market (e.g. Victoria’s Secret), Czech women are also known all over the world as being uber-babes. They’re usually tall & leggy and have a name ending in -ova. Gender aside though, I’ll confirm there are some really good looking people here. No, I don’t get surrounded on my morning metro commute by flocks of underwear models on their way to being greased up for a photo shoot. These infamous hot people don’t travel in packs and contrary to the research, their naturally-occuring population isn’t as high as many think. The streets are not littered with gruff and sexy dudes in leather while smoking unfiltered cigarettes. These guys aren’t just resting on the side of the street leaning against their expensive Italian cars. Nope, not reality. Similarly, the porno/underwear models don’t gleefully skip down the street with their skirts blowing in the breeze. I will say though that there does seem to be an abnormally high percentage of tall women here. We’re talking six footers. Lots of them. Strange. And being a person of ‘average stature,’ I tend to notice these things as it makes me feel even shorter. Boo. But anyway, there are certainly a fair number of really beautiful people in this country. They aren’t everywhere all the time. You need to find them in their natural habitat. Hmm, where is that, you ask? Well, as most people know, the good-looking tend to flock with the equally attractive and those types like to go to bars and clubs. They like to be seen wearing their hot new outfits; plus, I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of Czech mating ritual that these people are practicing. The few clubs I’ve been to have certainly had a fair share of Euro babes and Euro dudes on the dancefloor.

All that said, there are plenty of average and um, below-average looking people here. Here’s a good example of a rather homely gentleman I encountered while I was on the bus back to the SAPA market a few weeks ago. First, riding a bus standing up is very difficult. Brace yourself properly and stand parallel with the bus for the best traction. That’s my free tip for the day. So, I’m standing there pretty much right in front of the middle door when an older man got on the bus and stood in front of me. Like a good chap he turned and faced outward so at least he could get off at his stop with some speed. But, while he was standing in my direct line of sight (and also about 18 inches from my face) I could do nothing but stare. Stare at what? Well, when he boarded the bus I had a visceral reaction. Why? This man looks like Nosferatu. Don’t know who he is? Here ya go. This is not an exaggeration. His ears were gigantic and saggy and his nose was large and slightly curled. But, the horrible part happened when he turned away from me. From the back of his head there was a growth. A big one. Medically speaking I cannot begin to guess what the fuck that thing is but I would liken it to a wart. It was definitely some kind of fleshy protuberance. It was so big it had grown past his hair. ACK!

So basically my point is that your average day here will be peppered with some hot people swimming backstroke in a humdrum sea of genetic mediocrity. Going further into the peppering of hot, I’ll say there were a few interesting employees at Tesco this afternoon. (Sidenote: Tesco is bascially the European Wal-Mart. Since it’s NOT the REAL Wal-Mart, I have allowed myself to shop there. Tesco is generally quite cheap and I bought some homeless guy wine today. Why homeless guy wine? Well, it was 15.90Kc–yes, less than ONE DOLLAR U.S.– and it’s in a box. Yes, I took a photo!) So, I took the metro out to Zlicin (end of the yellow line–look for the stop from a previous Prague Metro link) because there’s a huge IKEA and Tesco that way. In Tesco, I was walking around with my basket buying random (and generally unnecessary) items when I came across a girl wearing red. The store had this chick manning a table/station in the liquor department of the store. I think she was pimping the Tesco credit card. Anyway, she was a good looking girl and tall and wearing kind of a ridiculous dress. I’d call that shade of red as fuck me red and her dress was short. Really short. Then near the entrance was another girl in an equally short skirt working her angle there. Bascially, these perfectly good-looking women were trying to sell Tesco credit cards and they looked like strippers.

My new favorite thing to do….and it’s free! Prague has a really awesome public transportation system. No, really. The metro, tram, and bus lines are very integrated and extremely efficient. Navigating through this city is super easy and unless you are brain-dead, reading the tram and bus schedules is a breeze. It’s almost impossible to get lost here. As far as the metro is concerned, there are only 3 transfer stations so that makes it a breeze. I live smack in the middle of town so getting to work is painless as I am so centrally located. My metro stop is on the yellow line but I can be on the green or red lines within five minutes. It’s pretty awesome. So anyway, back to my new favorite thing to do. Since I have a 3 month all-access metro pass, I can ride where and when I like with no restrictions on frequency. That said, I like just getting on a tram or bus and riding around. I’ve done this for the past three weekends and it’s a great and painless (FREE!) way to see different areas of town. Prague is really quite spread out and there is great diversity not only in the architecture but also economics. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out where the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ parts of town are located. I feel obligated to qualify my ‘bad’ parts of town statement. Yes, knowing where the rich and poor live is obvious however, when I say bad I don’t mean crime-ridden or super dangerous. Overall, Prague is a very safe city and I’ve never felt in danger or freaked out traveling alone. I’m not usually one to freak out anyway but generally speaking, the main issue here is with pick pocketing and that’s (for the most part) a non-violent act.

I took some photos last weekend and I really wanted to upload a slideshow but somehow it doesn’t seem to want to upload. A one click upload would be a hell of a lot easier than uploading individuals here.Click for bigger!

After two gorgeous weeks of weather it had to end. As I sit here in my room on a Saturday morning, I listen to the wheels of the cars drive through the wet streets and I am reminded that it just can’t be pretty beer time all the time. As much as I wish it were true, it cannot be so.

As far as reporting my activities this week…… I have no exciting news. On Wednesday however, I was absolutely furious due to bad directions given to me by one of my employers. The directions failed to mention construction so that made my journey even more adventurous. Two metros, a bus AND a tram later I finally made it. With each step down the sidewalk, I let out another audible expletive. Fun. But, the client is a maker of sportswear and the class is in their ’showroom’ so maybe I can bag some freebie schwag out of the deal. It’s nice looking stuff, let me tell you.

Problems aside this week, I can confirm that I rode the metro like a mother last weekened. With 4 days off and no Budapest, I had to keep myself occupied and with the cheap/free options which, in my book, are always acceptable. I want a website dedicated to all the non-obvious cheap/free things to do in various places. Or am I just a moron and don’t know where this miraculous place is located inside the wonderful world of the web? Of course parks and just walking/wandering are available options but something a bit more stimulating would be nice. Discovering new part of town is enjoyable enough and certainly the added mystique of being in a foreign land adds to the journey. But, one’s legs begin to tire so one cannot walk forever. I do quite like the idea of just taking the metro/tram/bus to some random part of town and walking around. There was plenty of that on my schedule last weekend and despite all the cardio, my ass didn’t seem to get the message.

What am I doing today? I’m headed out to this place later this afternoon. (Scroll down to the South Eastern suburbs section….and read about U Klokonicka) It’s in Prague 4 and my friend Keith is a regular. Kacov is apparently some super-small micro brew (and brewery–or pivovar) that typically only distributes to villages and this place is the only pub in Prague that carries the stuff. I met Keith and Karl & Dita at the pub last week and it’s nice only paying 18-20Kc/beer. That’s cheap. And for stuff you can’t get anywhere else? Even better. So, if the beer is made, you must drink it. It’s offensive to the pivo Gods if you do not obey. Keith also says they pretty much give you a double portion of smazeny syr there and it’s crazy good and cheap, too. Cheese AND beer? Count me in!

In case you are wondering……. I think I’ve mentioned smazeny syr before but it’s fried cheese. This fried cheese is not the kind Americans are used to, though. It’s not mozzarella and it isn’t served with marinara. Smazeny syr is usually made with Hermelin (tastes like Brie) and often served with a sauce similar to tartar. If it sounds gross, trust me when I say that it is not. Three cheers for cheese!

Here are a few pics from Vysehrad and the Prague Zoo. More will be on my Facebook page. And it’s repetitive of me to say but click for larger view.