Praha, Pivo, Prosim

Ok, since Prague is known for the sex industry and attractive people, I thought I’d add my two cents.

Aside from the Brazilians who have a lock on the ‘hot babe’ market (e.g. Victoria’s Secret), Czech women are also known all over the world as being uber-babes. They’re usually tall & leggy and have a name ending in -ova. Gender aside though, I’ll confirm there are some really good looking people here. No, I don’t get surrounded on my morning metro commute by flocks of underwear models on their way to being greased up for a photo shoot. These infamous hot people don’t travel in packs and contrary to the research, their naturally-occuring population isn’t as high as many think. The streets are not littered with gruff and sexy dudes in leather while smoking unfiltered cigarettes. These guys aren’t just resting on the side of the street leaning against their expensive Italian cars. Nope, not reality. Similarly, the porno/underwear models don’t gleefully skip down the street with their skirts blowing in the breeze. I will say though that there does seem to be an abnormally high percentage of tall women here. We’re talking six footers. Lots of them. Strange. And being a person of ‘average stature,’ I tend to notice these things as it makes me feel even shorter. Boo. But anyway, there are certainly a fair number of really beautiful people in this country. They aren’t everywhere all the time. You need to find them in their natural habitat. Hmm, where is that, you ask? Well, as most people know, the good-looking tend to flock with the equally attractive and those types like to go to bars and clubs. They like to be seen wearing their hot new outfits; plus, I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of Czech mating ritual that these people are practicing. The few clubs I’ve been to have certainly had a fair share of Euro babes and Euro dudes on the dancefloor.

All that said, there are plenty of average and um, below-average looking people here. Here’s a good example of a rather homely gentleman I encountered while I was on the bus back to the SAPA market a few weeks ago. First, riding a bus standing up is very difficult. Brace yourself properly and stand parallel with the bus for the best traction. That’s my free tip for the day. So, I’m standing there pretty much right in front of the middle door when an older man got on the bus and stood in front of me. Like a good chap he turned and faced outward so at least he could get off at his stop with some speed. But, while he was standing in my direct line of sight (and also about 18 inches from my face) I could do nothing but stare. Stare at what? Well, when he boarded the bus I had a visceral reaction. Why? This man looks like Nosferatu. Don’t know who he is? Here ya go. This is not an exaggeration. His ears were gigantic and saggy and his nose was large and slightly curled. But, the horrible part happened when he turned away from me. From the back of his head there was a growth. A big one. Medically speaking I cannot begin to guess what the fuck that thing is but I would liken it to a wart. It was definitely some kind of fleshy protuberance. It was so big it had grown past his hair. ACK!

So basically my point is that your average day here will be peppered with some hot people swimming backstroke in a humdrum sea of genetic mediocrity. Going further into the peppering of hot, I’ll say there were a few interesting employees at Tesco this afternoon. (Sidenote: Tesco is bascially the European Wal-Mart. Since it’s NOT the REAL Wal-Mart, I have allowed myself to shop there. Tesco is generally quite cheap and I bought some homeless guy wine today. Why homeless guy wine? Well, it was 15.90Kc–yes, less than ONE DOLLAR U.S.– and it’s in a box. Yes, I took a photo!) So, I took the metro out to Zlicin (end of the yellow line–look for the stop from a previous Prague Metro link) because there’s a huge IKEA and Tesco that way. In Tesco, I was walking around with my basket buying random (and generally unnecessary) items when I came across a girl wearing red. The store had this chick manning a table/station in the liquor department of the store. I think she was pimping the Tesco credit card. Anyway, she was a good looking girl and tall and wearing kind of a ridiculous dress. I’d call that shade of red as fuck me red and her dress was short. Really short. Then near the entrance was another girl in an equally short skirt working her angle there. Bascially, these perfectly good-looking women were trying to sell Tesco credit cards and they looked like strippers.

My new favorite thing to do….and it’s free! Prague has a really awesome public transportation system. No, really. The metro, tram, and bus lines are very integrated and extremely efficient. Navigating through this city is super easy and unless you are brain-dead, reading the tram and bus schedules is a breeze. It’s almost impossible to get lost here. As far as the metro is concerned, there are only 3 transfer stations so that makes it a breeze. I live smack in the middle of town so getting to work is painless as I am so centrally located. My metro stop is on the yellow line but I can be on the green or red lines within five minutes. It’s pretty awesome. So anyway, back to my new favorite thing to do. Since I have a 3 month all-access metro pass, I can ride where and when I like with no restrictions on frequency. That said, I like just getting on a tram or bus and riding around. I’ve done this for the past three weekends and it’s a great and painless (FREE!) way to see different areas of town. Prague is really quite spread out and there is great diversity not only in the architecture but also economics. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out where the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ parts of town are located. I feel obligated to qualify my ‘bad’ parts of town statement. Yes, knowing where the rich and poor live is obvious however, when I say bad I don’t mean crime-ridden or super dangerous. Overall, Prague is a very safe city and I’ve never felt in danger or freaked out traveling alone. I’m not usually one to freak out anyway but generally speaking, the main issue here is with pick pocketing and that’s (for the most part) a non-violent act.

I took some photos last weekend and I really wanted to upload a slideshow but somehow it doesn’t seem to want to upload. A one click upload would be a hell of a lot easier than uploading individuals here.Click for bigger!