Praha, Pivo, Prosim

*note: since I can’t roll my keyboard to Czech, some of my Czech words are missing appropriate accent marks. So, if per chance you copy/past some stuff into a translator, it probably won’t work b/c of this technical issue.

I just learned a few days ago that there is not only one Vietnamese market in Prague but two! And by market I don’t mean a small corner store that has a few random Asian type supplies. No, these babies are big outdoor markets with lots of stuff. My kind of thing; and it’s also a big bonus to living in an amazing metropolitan area.

I tried to research both of them and came up with some bits on either however, the one that sold me was a review that stated the best Pho in town was at the market in Malesice (Praha 10). The other market is in Praha 4 and is perhaps larger but it was the Pho reference that got the win. So, since I live at the super awesome location of the Namesti Republiky metro stop, getting around is a snap. Trams and buses are equally convenient (and the trams run EVERYWHERE) but the metro is obviously much faster and avoids street traffic. ( *As an aside, the metro escalators are LONG. Seriously. Fucking huge. And they go fast. I’m impressed with the speed that little old ladies scoot their little legs onto the moving behemoths. Google a vid of the escalator at the Narodni Trida stop. Wikipedia says it’s the longest escalator in Prague and according to their list, the 3rd longest in Europe. Actually, I think it’s #3 in the world and it registers at 290 feet. Ok, you get my point.) So, I got on the yellow line and transferred to the green line and took it to the end to the Depo Hostivar station. (I took the yellow to the west end last week and it took much longer than the green line east. I went to the massive IKEA near the Zlicin station and that trek took approx 40 minutes and that’s coming from my central location.) Once at Depo Hostivar I had to wait for bus 208. Weekend tram/bus/metro schedules are different than the weekday ones–read: LESS frequent. I arrived just after a bus left so I had to wait around for another 30 minutes until the next run. Boo. Oh well. At least I was up at ass-thirty this morning so I was prepared for my day.

I arrived at the market around 10:30am which was great because the place wasn’t very busy yet and the vendors were all setting up for the day. Upon entry, there is a guard gate that well, um, isn’t very menacing. Based on the Pho-happy review I read, I was prepared for this gate situation and what they reported was exactly true. To be granted entry I think you are supposed to have a Zivnostensky List (also called a z list–it’s a type of paperwork given by the government to people who run their own businesses, etc.–I can discuss this in a later blog). The gate didn’t check credentials or any passersby so I walked right in.

On either side just past the entry are various shops. This place wastes no space in the mantra to SELL SELL SELL! Past that area are big stalls selling yet more stuff. They are essentially long hallways labeled alphabetically A-F. Each aisle is about 100 yards long. These halls are packed with various vendors of all kinds of things including: shoes, lingerie, toys, purses, clothes, kitchen stuff, socks, candy, etc. All the stalls selling clothing had numerous ‘models’ of their products on miscellaneous mannequin parts. For example, the people selling jeans had about 20 mannequin leg sets all lined up proudly displaying their merchandise. Kind of funny to see so many in a row like that. They were set up almost as if they were about to goosestep their way out the door. In addition to the clothes and random stuff, there are also a few places that sell produce and random Asian food items. I proudly report that 99% of said items were foreign to my naive Caucasian brain; in other words, I have no idea what the fuck they may be. I love that. In retrospect, I should have bought some random stuff to bring back to the flat just to try out. I’m game for that kind of stuff.

At the end of aisle A, just like the review said, there are a few ‘restaurants’ or food stalls. Unlike the retail vendors, the food stalls are enclosed and have small kitchens but they are not heated. I took a seat and a woman started speaking to me immediately. My Czech is for shit. I cannot speak Czech. Can’t. Do. It. My vocabulary base is practically non-existent. I knew what I wanted to order so I just said, “PHO PROSIM,” and then she started saying more stuff. I know she said something about hovezi (beef) but after that I got shit. She started pointing around to more stuff and I replied with, “Nerozumim,” (I don’t understand) and just started agreeing with her. “Ano, ano, prosim.” I pulled a Pilsner Urquell from the fridge and went back to my table. Quickly after, another employee rolled over a space heater for me. Nice move!

The bowl of Pho arrived within a few minutes and it was HOT. Steam was coming off the bowl of goodness in a hardcore way so I waited a few minutes and I surveyed the various condiment options on the table. (*Oh, maybe I should have mentioned what PHO is for anyone unfamiliar….it’s basically a beef broth with rice noodles, sliced meat and various greenery/condiments.) The condiments on the table were as follows: lemon wedges, a bowl of chili oil, Sriracha (hot sauce), sugar, fish sauce and a jar of garlic chili. Sorry, the fish sauce and sugar were too far off to the right for this picture. I wasn’t sure what the garlic chili was until I opened the jar and smelled it. No mistaking that stuff. So, I added everything into my bowl of goodies minus the sugar. I was first hesitant about the bowl of chili oil because I was assuming it was going to kick my ass. It didn’t and I added it twice more. I can happily report the Pho was phoking delicious (bwah ha) and really flavorful stuff. Although I’ve had it in the states before, somehow it felt more ‘authentic’ to have it made at a Vietnamese market. Of course eating the stuff IN Vietnam would be the best experience but I felt quite like Bourdain doing this back-alley dining experience. Pho and beer? 100Kc

Ok, excursion done….back to town. Remember me mentioning about all the mannequin parts? Well, there is a mannequin part store within the market. I didn’t notice it on the way in but what first got my attention was the metal basket of mannequin feet just sitting in the parking area. They were all on metal rods just piled in the bin. I wish I had taken a pic of the feet. Across the way was the mannequin store which, because they sell mannequin parts, displayed said mannequin parts on the sidewalk at the front of the store. It was all somehow ironic, amusing and slightly creepy.

Again, my timing for the bus was shit so I had to wait another good 30 minutes for the ride back to Depo Hostivar. Praha 10 (or at least that part) is quite industrial and um, not pretty. Perhaps it’s more of the ‘real’ Prague but it’s by no means scenic. There are big smokestacks on either side of the road probably polluting the lungs of Czech youths. Call Erin Brockovich, I think I smell class action lawsuit.

I got off the metro at Mustek and walked back to the flat. It’s only a few minutes and walking right through Old Town Square does not get old. It just doesn’t. It was around the lunch hour so OTS was packed with people and their cameras. Note to self: I gotta get to the Astronomical Clock and watch it mark the hour one of these days.

At the end of Benediktska (my street) there’s a cute little cukrarna (sweet shop). I stopped the other day and got some random berry yogurt thing–it was tasty. So, I stopped back again today and got another sweet treat. I can’t remember what it’s called but it looked decadent so why not, right? Under the sugary dome were 2 cookie-like (crunchy) discs with layered chocolate mouse between. There was also a slice of pineapple in there, too. Yeah for sugar!

Back at the flat by 1:30pm–nice work! Naptime.

Ok, it’s 5pm and I’m hungry. Shit. What should I eat? Yes, I should have gone to Albert or Billa and bought groceries. Eh, the kitchen here is kind of weak and I felt lazy. I was still on a bit of an Asian food frenzy so I wanted to find a good Thai place in my neighborhood. I found Orange Moon and it’s pretty much around the corner. Sweet! A convenient option. Out I went. Since I still had my camera in my coat from my earlier adventure, I decided to take some snapshots of restaurants in my ‘hood. Note, these are all literally less than a 5 minute walk from my seat right now. Dlouha street is a popular and somewhat trendy street so there are plenty of good options there…. All the places you see in this image are on or very near Dlouha–thus the colored dots. Sorry, I’m not going to provide links for all the restaurants in this blog. All these photo uploads and Photoshopping bits are taking enough of my time. My brain will fry if I Google them all. But note that in just these places alone the options are: Czech, Italian, Thai, Burmese, Indian, Croatian, Argentinian, French and Afghani.

Orange Moon was my destination but I got sidetracked by a rather unique option. Ariana is an Afghani restaurant. I’m fairly sure that Afghani dining options outside of Afghanistan are limited at best. A good thing about restaurants in Prague is that nearly all of them have their menus posted at the front door. Prices are listed and if you have even a limited Czech vocab (ME!) you can decipher some stuff pretty easily. Menu descriptions are neither flowery nor verbose so it’s not necessary to decipher some bullshit prose a marketing intern wrote. The menu was posted and it was partly in English so it sold me. Although Orange Moon is 15 feet away on the other side of the street, Ariana won out tonight.

So, into Ariana I went! I ordered the Kofta and the Mantu. I wasn’t sure if they would have beer considering the religious status of Afghanis but alas, there was an extensive bar menu. Pils it was. Kofta basically looks like flattened meatballs. They were served in what looked (and tasted) like a tomato-based sauce. Really tasty stuff–oh and also Persian bread was served too. In appearance, I can compare the Mantu to maybe dim sum. They are individual little pockets of dough filled with meat and cabbage. The ‘dumplings’ are topped with split peas, kidney beans, a yogurt sauce and a split pea sauce. The split pea sauce looked and tasted more tomato-y than of split peas. There was also more Persian bread. This time it came with some kind of green herbal paste. My palate could not pick out the components but it was tart and vinegary. Good but different. Ah ha! Google! No complaints though, it was all really quite good and I’m happy I went there. Total tab with tip 310Kc. I’ll be back.

It’s just so awesome that SO MUCH stuff is SO close! This is something I’m not used to and I love it!

It’s about 10am here and I’m done with my first batch of laundry for the day. Hooray! Plus = I like the smell of the cheap Euro Shopper blue colored detergent. Minus = no friggin’ dryers in this country which means I gotta go old school.

Ok, I Photoshopped some stuff…..as per usual, click for bigger. *Note: these are ’saved for the web’ images and as such, they are seriously downgraded. Web images lose a lot of color and ‘pop’ but of course smaller images are easier to upload and take up far less space. Just know the originals are better than what you see here.

1. Cool metal dudes at St. Vitus

2. Pretty windows at St. Vitus

3. Stained glass reflections at St. Vitus

4. View of Prague from the top of one of the Charles Bridge Towers. The sun was out briefly that day, so it was nice!

5. This guy is at the top of the steps of the Tower from #4. I don’t know who he is or how old he is but I like how creepy he is without a face just standing there greeting everyone.

6. This is about 2 blocks from my crib. The Powder Tower is right next to it but I’ll post a photo of that at a later time.

In other news, I got a job yesterday. This is a good thing. Feel free to ask The Google about Skrivanek. Already have a seminar on Friday. Hot diggity!

Hmm… someone asked me the other day if I was still buying strange food just for the fun of it. Well, the ham roll is still the weirdest thing but I did see a new aspic-laden item at Albert yesterday. It was some kind of fish (with scales) rolled up with stuff inside and under a thick layer of aspic. Mmm, delicious! I did not buy this. I did however, get some kind of cheese spread. I don’t know what it’s called but since it had SYR in one of the words, I know that’s cheese so my awesome powers of deduction figured this out. I will report it’s delicious.

It’s our (re: MY) responsibility to take out the ‘new class’ at The Language House. I will gladly go in and tell them to meet up with us so we can all go out. However, these people will not be coming to my abode. Why? Well, I don’t think I’d invite 15 of my real friends over–not even when I had an established residence in the US. Not gonna happen. Anyway, the drawback is that I do not want to be the ‘leader’ in the actual bar crawl as I have no fucking clue where to go in Old Town. The bars are EVERYWHERE and my sense of direction is fucked here as the streets do not follow an orderly pattern. Boo! When we were given the drinking tour, we ended up following some drunken English broad that didn’t know where she was going so we got to experience our first time on the night tram. Hooray!

Ok, the sun has been out since I got up 2 hours ago. This is insanity. I must go enjoy my day!

Going back and editing in this thing is a bitch so I’m just making a new link for the Potrafena Husa in Andel.

Ok, here are some random links of places I’ve been so far… these are some I can remember. If I could recall all the bars I’ve hit in 5 weeks, the list would be much longer. Speaking of bars, all but one of the places I’ve been do not have cover charges. This surprises me. Although I’m not a ‘club’ person, I fully expect to pay a charge when entering the premises of a club. Nope. That is good. Popocafepetl is the only place that has charged at the door and that’s because of the band. However, since these places don’t charge at the door and they are more trendy and hip, the drinks are more expensive. But, that’s going to be true of any city. The bars/clubs in Old Town certainly get more Kc per beer simply because of location. Actually, last night I paid the most so far for a beer since I arrived. Sixty Kc for a beer is rather pricey here even though it translates to less than 3USD. If one is outside of Praha 1 (centrum), one can expect to pay probably 25-40ish for a drink.

Another issue of going out is how to find my way home. The streets (especially in Old Town where I now live) are often windy and change direction. My internal navigation system (despite my vagina) is usually pretty on target but when you are making twists and turns on curving streets, it’s hard to know which direction you are going. There’s also the issue of not even knowing street names and not knowing how to properly pronounce the ones that you do. Go ahead and look at a detailed map of Old Town and Praha 1. You’ll see what I mean. Also, because I’m a female living alone in a foreign country and don’t speak the language, I have to be mindful of how much I drink and know my way to get home. That said, I’d like to stay out later and have a few more drinks but the idea of wandering around aimlessly at night is stupid and irresponsible.

Most of these links have English menus on the main pages so just look for the Union Jack flag or a little icon that says EN.

Popocafepetl in Mala Strana–cool cellar atmosphere next to a wine bar. Mala Strana is on the other side of the Vltava and a really nice area of town. Pretty much at the bottom of the hill where Prague Castle is located.

La Casa Blu was a place we hit up last night. It’s a Latin-themed joint with plenty of tequila shooters, etc. Alas, I stuck to the beer because it’s the most affordable and delicious! There was actually a surprise Jagermeister promotion while we were there which was hilarious. Three girls in bright orange tops and black skirts and orange wigs came in holding portable yellow flashing lights….they were followed by a dude wearing a furry deer costume and a dude with a big black bag. Of course the wardrobe was all sponsored by Jager and they traveled around the bar for a good hour giving out shots and promotional Jager stuff. The guy in the deer costume never lost his motivation despite probably roasting in the stupid outfit. They had whistles and danced a lot all the while getting girls to take their tops off in exchange for free Jag shirts.

I can’t say much about Aloha Cocktail because we were only inside for about 15 minutes but I can say it’s yet another cellar type club that looked very cool. But, it was Friday night and busy so we went to the next destination.

Bohemia Bagel is popular with the expats as they have well, you guess it, BAGELS! It’s a bit much in so far as money goes but they serve American style breakfast items so sometimes it’s worth the extra 50Kc to get a taste of home. The Old Town location is about 2 blocks from my crib.

A neighborhood Middle Eastern restaurant, Dahab, is right around the corner. I hit up the deli area for lunch yesterday and had falafel which, by the way, if you haven’t had it, get it. It’s vegetarian and quite flavorful so you can feel a bit healthy despite it being fried. The nicer restaurant portion of Dahab looks super cool so I’ll have to check it out later.

Just a place in Zizkov that we went a bunch of times. It’s right around the corner from the Biscupcova flat and next to the tram stop so it was really convenient.

They say Palladium is the biggest shopping complex in Prague and they (not sure who THEY are) are probably right. Palladium certainly isn’t the biggest mall I’ve ever been in but it’s really nice and has some higher-end shops. I think I blogged about the ‘food court’ before so be sure and navigate to that part of the site. The all-you-can eat sushi place looks really cool with the rotating conveyor belts of food.

Potrafena Husa has a few locations but we went to the one in Andel a few nights ago. New and quite popular and the service staff is all men. The dude employees were not happy that night. I think they hated us. I had the traditional Bohemian potato soup that was served in a crispy bread bowl. Delicious. Potatoes? Check. Bread? Check. Sold.

The night we went to Potrafena Husa, we had quite an international group. Oh, and let me say that despite the reputation Czechs have for being surly and unfriendly…well, the ones I have met have been very nice and generous and accommodating. So, it was myself, the Brit boys, 2 Czechs (Antonin and Jarka), a Sicilian (Sandra) and a few other Americans. Jarka is a student from the Intermediate class and Antonin is her boyfriend or as he said, a ‘friend with benefits.’ They are super cool people so when we did our party at Amigos in Vinohrady last week, they wanted to meet up again. Jarka is a full time German and Russian teacher and takes English on the side. Impressive. Of course that’s on top of being a native Czech speaker. Sandra is from Sicily she and teaches German, Italian and English. Holy Christ. Just speaking one language makes one feel a bit useless.

Another super cool Czech I’ve met is Blanka– also from the Intermediate class. We were required to give freebie one-to-one lessons but since I didn’t do one with the bank employees, I had to give one to a student from a class. I met Blanka at a cajovna (tea house) in Vinohrady and our 1 hour session turned into three. She had promised to bring me some moonshine Slivovice (kind of a plum brandy/Schnapps) and she did not disappoint. Free booze is my favorite kind! Anyway, my opinion of Czechs? Cool peeps once you get them to chatting. They aren’t initially willing to talk much but once they do they are very nice and curious.

In other random news, I got up this morning to find the sky had NO clouds at all. This was a first in the 5 weeks I have been here. Apparently the winter months are quite dreary, bleak and gray so when the sun comes out, it’s a good thing. Being the nerd I am, I quickly got my shit together and headed out on foot to take some pictures. Again, I need to run some stuff through Photoshop, but when I do, I’ll upload and share with all of you! But, as I sit typing this at 11:30am, the clouds have moved in and to that I say BOOO!

 Lastly, I still need a job! But some interviews are scheduled so that gives me hope!

Since I am located next to a more traditionally ‘normal’ grocery, I thought I’d blog a bit about the food supplies in CR.

Aside from the weird meat products in this country, I’ll say that Czechs love yogurt. I mean really fucking love yogurt. The dairy section at Albert is insane. By my sub-standard measurements, I’d say the yogurt aisle is approx 20+ feet long. No shit. The prices are really reasonable (I just bought some individual containers for 5.90Kc) and come in a variety of flavors. Catering to the Czech national palate of loving all things sweet, there is also a plethora of chocolate and coconut flavored yogurts on the market, too. They are delicious. The Euro yogurts are made with glorious full-fat dairy products and it’s quite evident in the taste. I’ll say they have done well in this area.

The produce department…. This is something that is lacking in comparison to American grocery counterparts. The selection is limited and it’s strange to see many items not refrigerated. Generally speaking, the array of products here is less than in the U.S. which is to be expected but also the supplies of many products are usually around the 50% mark. In other words, the shelves are not always stocked. *An additional note on refrigeration… Ok, here the milk here comes in cartons. No, not like the American cartons. These are more like boxes. Anyway, some milk is kept chilled and some others are not. They just sit in a big pile waiting to be purchased. I can’t figure out the difference in this area. I’m thinking maybe the chilled stuff is ‘real’ whereas the room temperature stuff is some kind of powdered milk variety that never goes bad.

The meat/fish department….. Apparently turkey is non-existent here as Frank can attest that in his time here, he has never seen a turkey in any form, anywhere, ever. Pork is the big seller here and there seems to be a limitless supply of various cuts available. Chicken is also big and it’s no problem to find. Beef isn’t as plentiful but certainly present. The fish… fresh cuts of fish are expensive. I don’t recall what a fresh piece of tuna runs but it’s up there. There is an abundance of fake crab (which I love) as well as fake lobster that I suppose is commonplace as this is a landlocked country so it’s an appropriate substitution.

Random grocery stuff….. if you buy brand name laundry detergent, it’s super expensive. I can’t figure that one out. Also, here’s something that is going to freak me out soon unless I can find the proper measures…. applicator tampons. Where are they? Rosie informed me that they are difficult to procure. Boo. I guess Czech women prefer the maxi variety and to my trained Tampax brain, that is wrong wrong wrong. I just simply cannot do that. I’m not 13 and this ain’t my first rodeo.I was craving some American-style food the other day so I whipped up a nice little breakfast. Fried potatoes and onions with tomatoes, scrambled eggs, Euro bacon and some toast with cream cheese. Outside of Bohemia Bagel, I haven’t seen a bagel for purchase so I had to wing it with the bread. All in all, it was good and although the stove takes a while to heat up, it worked just fine. My kitchen appliances are thousands of miles away and I miss them. Did I mention this flat doesn’t even have a microwave? While mine in the U.S. was complete shit, at least it was an option. Gotta go old school at this new crib.

I snapped some good pics this week from one of the Charles Bridge Towers (and a few other places) this week but I need to run them through Photoshop to reduce the size and do minor tweaking. Oh, and that’s another minor glitch here in Europe…. I only have one adapter. I have far too many electrical things to work simultaneously. So, my Photoshop is on an external drive but since that requires use of the adapter, I can’t keep this machine at full juice while running PS off the external drive. It just makes things more complicated. Yes, I could buy more adapters but apparently they run around 25 USD here. Sucks. I know I’ll break down and get more eventually.

First, I’ll mention that I am now TEFL certified. Woo hoo! This is a good thing. Bad thing is the job market is shitty and it’s not going to be as easy/quick to find a job here as I initially thought. New friends in Prague are confirming this so um, yeah, that pretty much sucks. I’m moving into a new place tomorrow but am now 100% officially unemployed. Damn.

On a good note, Chris threw us a party at his place last night (good ‘power move’ on his part) and there was far too much alcohol. He also cooked dinner which was super nice of him to do and I think we were all more than appreciative of his efforts. A party that was supposed to end at 10 ended much later and most of us have strange/humorous stories about our evenings. I went to Old Town with a few people but when I got on a tram to head back, I chose the wrong one and it took me across the river. Let’s just say that I needed to go east and well, the tram went west. The public transportation here in Prague is great. It is very reliable and easy to use. However, the regular tram schedule changes after midnight as do the tram numbers. The frequency of stops drops to about 1 every 30 minutes and often you need to get transfers to get to where you need to go. So I knew I was up a creek when the tram was headed across the Vltava. I had a series of expletives going through my internal dialogue as I knew it was going to be a pain in the ass to get back. I walked back across the river and got a tram at the Narodni Trida station. That took me to Namesti Miru where I got a second tram. Tram 3 was at Olsanske Hrbitovy. Hooray. My dumbass move cost me 90 minutes of my life. ACK!

Since today has been my first official day of freedom, I wanted to get out of the flat and check some things out. None of us have really seen much of Prague yet so I’m anxious to do what I can when possible.Initially, I wanted to go to Petrin hill and I thought that tram 22 would take me there. I was sure I had read that but alas, it did not. When I doubled back, I walked around the grounds of Prague Castle but being that it is a Saturday, it was very crowded so that was a short side trip. I headed down the hill and went by foot into Josefov and Old Town. There is some kind of regional European festival in Old Town this weekend so in Old Town Square there were food and beverage vendors set up. Good times. A Gambrinus was 40Kc (a bit overpriced but everything is in that area of town) and although it was a bit cold, beer is never a bad thing. I contemplated a visit to a Salvador Dali exhibit but canned that and ate lunch instead. Amos is just down the street from my new crib so I noshed there. I had some rather interesting pork ragout in pancakes and little potato croquettes that were basically Peanut M&M sized fried balls of doughy goodness.

There is an underground Albert super close to the new place and being one who likes markets and grocery stores, I browsed a bit. This Albert is a decent-sized store (bigger than the Lidl’s we’ve been going to) and its also 2 levels. Because it is multi-level and a grocery store, there is a moving sidewalk that is tilted at probably a 20 degree angle. Check that off my list as something I had never seen before.

After Albert I walked around Palladium because it’s awesome and so very close. Sorry, I keep going on about the amazing location of my new apartment but it seriously is the shit. On the food court level they were having some kind of presentation. And here’s one more thing I can check off my list….. what kind of presentation was it? Well, there were lights and a stage set up for a……Czech deaf teen fashion show. Yes, you read that right. The emcee was flanked by 2 women who were signing and then the ’show’ started with a girl coming out and signing to a Frank Sinatra song It reminded me of the Helping Hands kids from Napoleon Dynamite. The second bit was a funky R&B number with hip teens strutting their high fashion shit around the stage. Random side note…do you know how deaf people ‘clap?’ I did not until today. They put their hands in the air and essentially just wave them around. So, rather than give audible appreciation to the participants, there was just a sea of waving arms in front of me. *I saw a super cute baby at the show and snapped some pics.

I was finally able to get out with the ‘good’ camera so I snapped most of these today. They’re kind of random. The first pic was taken in this apartment building. I wanted to finally use the tripod that Omar bought me so…..

First, here are a few images of some supplies I purchased at Lidl’s last week.

And note that although I only bought a few things, the total was 60-ish Kc. The beer was on sale for 5.90Kc. Yeah, that’s basically free.Well, it sat in the fridge long enough. I cracked open the infamous HAM ROLL.

You will be shocked to read that the mystery ham product was actually NOT that bad. It did have a slightly vinegary taste which my palate is not used to. I don’t know if that was part of the aspic or just a flavor component of the white cheese/non-cheese filling. I do not know and it’s hard to determine. But, I can confirm (as can you from the photos) that the layer of clear stuff was frightening. I prefer not to scrape, peel back, or scoop anything away from my food. The ham & questionable filling were encased in the stuff and although I’m fairly certain it’s entirely edible, I did not want to ingest a fork or spoon full of gelatinous clear stuff that looked like it came from a bone marrow transplant. Just the mere act of removing the strange and slightly wiggly top layer of ‘food’ is a strange set of motions. All in all, although the overall taste wasn’t gag-inducing, I probably won’t be buying another one of these. For a small fee though, I will gladly ship some back to my American friends! Overall? The ham roll just not something you crave after a long day of work. Give me a bag of Fritos and a nice beverage instead; you can keep your aspic encased meat burrito.